A Day to Celebrate or A Day to Grieve

With Mother’s Day and Father’s Day recently behind us, I have found myself thinking more deeply about these two holidays and the assumption that everyone is happy to celebrate these days, or at least that is how the card companies portray it. I will graciously agree that for most people these are two happy days that they willingly celebrate. However not everyone looks forward to these days; for some these two days bring up difficult and sad memories. Maybe a reminder that the parent they loved so dearly is no longer with them, or perhaps a reminder of a not so good relationship with that parent, or a reminder of children not able to be had, or children who have died. No matter the reason, the reality is that Mother’s Day and Father’s Day can be very difficult to get through.

If you are one for whom one or both of these holidays are difficult, I am here to say – it’s ok. Contrary to what society blares across the advertising airwaves, you do not have to jump on the all is hunky-dory band wagon of celebration. It is ok to say I don’t really like today and would rather just go hide until the next day. Grief is something that is a process and a journey that while it gets better, it is never over. Days like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day can trigger these feelings of grief again. So if you are one who dreads these days, know that there others out there who “get it” and that it is only one day. Be gentle with yourself and know that the next day is a new day.

If you are one who joyfully celebrates these two days, that is ok too; in fact that’s great. I just ask that you remember and be aware that not everyone feels the same way and if you meet someone who does not feel the same way you do, be gentle and give a bit of extra kindness on what could be a difficult day.

So to those celebrating these days, I celebrate with you.

To those wishing the day would just get over with – I grieve with you too.

Peace and Blessings,

Chaplain Joy

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Joy Freeman

Joy Freeman has served as Staff Chaplain at North Kansas City Hospital for the last 20 years. She is Board Certified with the Association of Professional Chaplains. Married and with a teenage daughter she spends most of her time chauffeuring her daughter to her many activities. In the rare moment to herself she can be found reading, crafting or playing the roleplaying game Dungeons and Dragons.