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More than 80% of people with dementia will experience dementia-related behaviors such as crying, yelling, hitting, biting, wandering and swearing. If you’re a caregiver, these behaviors can be overwhelming and frustrating at times.

Managing challenging behaviors in people with dementia is not easy. What is important to know is that their behavior is a form of communication. People with dementia behave in ways that make sense to them. Additionally, dementia can affect the brain in such a way that people have a hard time learning new information. This is why routine and repetition are so important.

Putting yourself in their shoes is a good first step in unlocking the reason behind their behavior. Rather than ignoring, blaming or scolding your loved one, think about what they are trying to tell you. Most importantly, try not to take these behaviors personally.

Four Main Causes of Dementia Behaviors

  1. Confusion. How would you feel if you didn’t know where your family was? Or, what if you thought you were late for work at the job you had for the past 50 years?
    • What to try: Help your loved one follow a familiar routine. Make sure clocks and calendars are easy to see. Help them put on their glasses and hearing aids. Memory books can be a useful tool for orientation. Focus on their feelings. Join them in their reality rather than insist on facts. If they think they are going to work, say “You need a good breakfast before work. Let’s go have something to eat."
  2. Environment. How would you feel if there was so much noise and activity around you could not get any rest? Or, what if you were forced to go through the same boring routine day after day?
    • What to try: Keep noise to a minimum when possible. Speak in a slow, calm voice. Keep activities simple but interactive. Try engaging your loved one in something they enjoy. Give them a sense of purpose by using statements such as, “I could really use your help with … .”
  3. Frustration. How would you feel if someone woke you up for breakfast at 6 a.m. every day when you like to sleep until 10 a.m.? Or, what if someone told you to take a bath when you prefer showers
    • What to try: Explain what you are doing before you begin. Let your loved one do as much as they can for themselves. Never argue and instead offer specific choices versus open-ended questions. For example, ask, “Would you like to wear the red or blue shirt?” instead of “Would you like to get dressed?”
  4. Health/comfort. How would you feel if you were in pain and could not express how you were feeling? Or, what if you were hungry but didn’t know when your next meal would be?
    • What to try: Make the person as comfortable as possible. Make sure your loved one’s needs are met, from toileting, to nutrition and hydration, to medications. Reassure the person you are there to keep them safe.

Ultimately, the most important thing is to keep yourself and your loved one with dementia safe.

Dementia Resources

Our Outpatient Rehabilitation Services department has therapists who are specially trained to treat people with dementia. Speech therapy can provide cognitive strategies and exercises for the patient and their caregivers to help maintain safety and independence. Most insurance companies cover therapy with a doctor’s order.

We also offer community education classes for people with dementia and their caregivers. Find a class.

Support groups can also be a great way to connect with others. The Alzheimer’s Association Heart of America Chapter has virtual caregiver support groups, care consultations and virtual social engagement activities. Their 24/7 helpline is 800.272.3900.

Explore More

10 Ways to Connect With a Loved One With Dementia


Living With Alzheimer’s

Stephanie Ramirez

Stephanie Ramirez, MA, CCC-SLP, CDCS, is a speech-language pathologist at North Kansas City Hospital. She primarily works in the outpatient setting. She is also a certified dementia care specialist. When she’s not helping patients, she serves as a community educator for the Alzheimer’s Association, conducting training and education.
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