10 Ways to Strengthen Your Mental Health During the Holidays

The winter holiday season – billed as “the most wonderful time of the year” – arrives with the pomp and bombast of drummers drumming, decked halls and whatever a wassail is.

Stuffed with nostalgia and coated in sentimentality, it can be difficult for many people to live up to the holidays’ idealized expectations. For people dealing with grief, economic hardship or strained relationships, joy can feel as microscopic as the Grinch’s heart. Making matters worse, people who can’t convincingly fake cheer are quickly called a Scrooge and branded with humbugs.

Keep these tips in mind the next time winter festivities arrive.

You are not alone. A 2023 study by the American Psychological Association found that 41% of U.S. adults reported their stress increases during the holiday season. Further, 43% said holiday stress makes it difficult for them to enjoy the holidays and 36% said the holidays feel like a competition.

Don’t force your feelings. It can be uncomfortable to feel emotionally out of step, but it is OK to acknowledge less-than-festive feelings. Accepting your feelings is the first step to being able to honestly handle them. Allow yourself to feel the variety of emotions you may have. Find someone you can share your feelings with, as you are more than likely not alone. 

Don’t idealize the holidays. There can be a lot of pressure to live up to others’ expectations of the holidays, whether in popular culture or within your family. Give yourself permission not to compete with the ghosts of past winter holidays. Consider staying off social media or even starting your own Holiday traditions. 

Set boundaries. Decide how much family or togetherness time you can handle. Carve out some alone time. Let go of feeling guilty for what you “should” be doing. Validate the other person and hold your boundary. It is not your responsibility to make sure other people are happy around the Holidays. It is important to take care of yourself. 

Develop a plan. What can you do when you feel stressed, exhausted, lonely or sad? Make a list of things you enjoy doing. This could be calling a friend, going for a walk, watching a favorite movie, reading a book or taking a long bath. Turn to these activities when heavy feelings arise.

Don’t forget the basics. Get enough sleep, eat a balanced diet, exercise regularly and practice mindfulness or other stress reduction techniques. Give your body the tools it needs to process these deep emotions.

Stay away from alcohol and drugs. It can be tempting to self-medicate with drugs or alcohol, but doing so only buries the feelings without addressing them. Use the plan you developed to reduce the opportunity for substance abuse.

Be a friend to others. Check in on friends or family who may struggle with chemical dependency. Reach out to a loved one who may be going through a rough time or a neighbor who is alone. Helping others can provide a sense of fulfillment and validation of existence. Even something as simple as dropping off a holiday meal or treats to someone in need can brighten one's day.  

Connect with a community. If you can’t be with loved ones or don’t feel accepted by them, join with others either online or in person. Check out support groups, community centers, volunteer opportunities, faith communities and clubs for opportunities. 

Ask for help. These feelings are often deep and intense. You don’t have to carry them alone. Help is available. There is no shame in asking for or receiving treatment. Here are some free, confidential resources:

• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration – Resources to find help, learn about treatment, how to pay for treatment, learn coping methods and how to help a loved one get help.FindTreatment.gov – A confidential and anonymous resource to help find a treatment facility, learn what to expect and explore potential payment options.
• Support Groups | NAMI - National Alliance on Mental Illness – Provide free education, skills training and support groups. 
• 988 Lifeline – Free, anonymous, confidential, one-on-one counseling available 24/7/365.
   

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Joel Francis

Senior copywriter Joel Francis has extensive experience writing in a medical setting, including the American Academy of Family Physicians, KU Endowment at The University of Kansas Medical Center and Government Employees Health Association. He was also a long-time freelance music writer for the Kansas City Star.